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How we Die is how we Live

2022.02.07

My father died last January. He was 90 years old and suffered from sudden pneumonia during my visit to my hometown, Fukuoka. I can’t say he was a diligent, tidy, and reliable person, but he was good at creating a cheerful atmosphere everywhere. He was born into a high social and financial standing. However, when he was in his twenties, he dropped out of university and eloped with an older woman of lower social and financial status. The marriage lasted only one year. After he got married to my mother and started his own company, he would lend his money without hesitation to others and often never got it back. My mother regretted marrying him.

 

Partly because I was raised hearing my mother’s complaints about him, I thought he was far from an ideal father, although I liked his cheerfulness. However, his last ten days at the hospital made me reconsider how I will spend the rest of my life. Are high social status or money determining factors when it comes to enjoying the final stages of our life?

 

Shortly after he was carried to the hospital at the end of last December, the doctor told our family he was dying. As my hometown is located in the countryside in Fukuoka, and at the time had only counted a small number of Covid-19 patients, only fifteen minutes were allowed per visitation. We immediately called his siblings and learned that most of his friends had passed away already, so we were only able to find one of his friends.

 

Even though he was dying and was kept alive by a ventilator, he was friendly and talked to everyone. However, sadly, most of his words were inaudible due to the apparatus. One of his grandchildren, who is a doctor, said in general it was very difficult for patients like him to talk because the blood oxygenation level was extremely low. During the last ten days of his life, his nine grandchildren, some of whom lived in Tokyo and some in Kyoto, returned to Fukuoka, so someone could visit him every day. They all loved the dying old man who was still joking with gestures on the bed.

 

According to the doctor, and due in part to Covid-19, this hospital had become a place for the dying, and patients rarely encountered visitors. Only my father’s bed was lively, and this created an atmosphere unusually cheerful for the hospital.

 

Through these ten days at the hospital, I realized that how we die is the same as how we live. Though he might have been sloppy, lazy, and gullible, my father treated everyone equally, regardless of their social and financial status. He never got angry at others, and tried to make everyone happy all the time, even at the end. Now I respect him so much and feel I want to spend my last days like him.

 

I believe how we die doesn’t depend on our financial condition or social status, but after all how we have treated people throughout our life. To this end, I renovated my house this summer and made a small corner where people can get together and have social gatherings. I hope I can cherish people and the time I spend with them for the rest of my life, and hopefully, die like my father.



Photo credit: Pixabay


Quiz.

 

Q1. Where is the author from?

a)    Kyoto

b)   Tokyo

c)    Fukuoka

 

Q2. What did the author’s mother think about her husband?

a)    He was not kind

b)   He was not talkative

c)    He was not a good husband

 

Q3. According to the essay, what makes our final days great?

a)    Money

b)   Jobs

c)    How we treat people

 

 

Scroll down for the answers






























 

A1. c

A2. c

A3. c

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